Friday, October 16, 2009

Chocolate P.I.M.P.

YESTERDAY y when I went to this restaurant, this dude was trying to tell me something when I was walking in. Just kept walking though. When I left, he was waiting I said let me hear him out. He was like what up, my name is Chocolate P.I.M.P....I said chocolate pimp. He said no, u have to spell out pimp. Chocolate P.I.M.P. I was laughing like hell inside. He told me he got some beautiful girls for me. He said "$80...u take girls to your hotel for 2hrs n half. Anything u want. If u don't want in your room, we have beautiful hotel here n a car bring her here for you...right in front...n take her when u dun wit her." He tried to get me to go see girls. I was like nah. He said "come, I have 45 beautiful girls here for u to choose". I said nah I'm good. He asked when we play n I said Saturday. He said "oh I see, I see...u need to relax. Big game. U don't need 2n half hours. I have beautiful girls here to give u professional massage...with shower n tub n happy ending. $25. U come wit me n I show u. Just over here". Again I was like nah. I'm good. He said "ok. I guess another time. Every time u come outside...I b here...remember the name Chocolate P.I.M.P. Holla". LMAO I love DR. These niggas running the streets. Lmao. Hahahahahaha. Shit was too funny. N y he had a moist jerry curl high top...ooohh, my stomach hurting I'm laughing so hard.

DR Life...straight from blackberry

I'm in emergency room. Had practice 2 hours in a gym that was way too hot like a sauna. Lost all my fluids. Went to hotel. But after lil time, still couldn't stop sweating n got dizzy. I felt bad n cramps started coming. I tried to go get water from bar which is outside in the heat n started sweating more n becoming weak. Felt like I was going to pass out. I made them bring me here. Tests r normal. Getting IV. After, I will leave n go back to room. I haven't eaten today either. I'm glad I came early before it got worse n I really pass out. I'm starting to feel a lot better. Ill go to hotel n eat n everything will be back normal. They said my fluids just got too low from sweating way too much.
So, I was emailing the girl I was dating the rest of the story besides what I wrote already so decided to cut n paste it. So funny. Make sure u read all of this. There is also another little story that happened yesterday. Share them with whomever u want LMAO!!! Life in DR.
TODAY …u should have seen me today. I had on some camouflage shorts n flip flops when I was about to pass out n sweating like crazy. So I went to emergency room like that. When I got up to leave...u know how they put the paper down on table, I was sweating so much laying there that I sweat all the way through my shorts n the paper...the paper was torn up n stuck to my ass like toilet tissue. It was so funny. I was just walking n lil torn white pieces of paper kept falling off my buns leaving a trail behind me. Was too funny. Then I couldn't find the lady that took me there bcuz she went to pay my bill. So I was walking around looking like a crack head wit bloody band aids on my arms from where they stuck me (no homo), wet shorts, no shirt n a paper trail (like T.I.) Lmao...all through the clinic. People were looking at me crazy. Girls that work there were looking at me like a piece of meat...or like a piece of shit. One of the two. Guess the dizziness will make a nigga misread the signs lmao. Then I found her n the security came to me n was like, "u have to put a shirt on." The lady told him I didn't have one n they said I can't walk around without shirt n we got to leave soon. We were already leaving anyway...old dumb ass rent a cop. So we went outside n couldn't find our ride so she was like let's just walk. So now I'm actually walking down the street looking like a crack head. So niggas looking at me like "look at this tall ass vago!" Lmao. Then we finally found her friend car outside another clinic. Guess she was looking for us. We were about to walk in clinic until a new rent a cop, some old wrinkly ass nigga that was patrolling the parking lot was looking at me crazy so I just sat outside. Guess u can say he punked me...only difference was that this rent a cop was walking around wit a sawed off shotgun. WTF. Who the hell he about to blast. Damn. That's when I realized we were in the damn hood clinic. This some bullshit. I should have known though. I got an IV, heart test, blood work, stress test n all...instantly without insurance...for which I had to prepay before they would touch me...n my bill was less than $100. What a day!

God can stop your foolishness!

The funniest thing about foolish peole is watching a foolish person actually believe they are fooling a non-foolish person. God gives you freedom to make the same foolish decisions over and over...but as you continue the foolishness, HE will continue to correct you until you get it right! Stick with HIM and you can get off this rollercoaster ride you call life and become like HIM...the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! Consistency comes with Persistency...Persevere in your faith, your belief, and HIS will...and you will become what HE has sacrificed for you to be! Now....marinate on that!!! Simply!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

What is appropriate to write in your status update box?

Is there a “Status Updates” protocol???

All these little internet sites…I.e., facebook, myspace, twitter…they all have status boxes…a place for you to write what you are doing, thinking of or feeling at that specific moment in time. What is the point of these things?

The reason I am asking is because…after a long conversation about life and relationships and all, with a friend of mine I hadn’t spoken to in a long time…I logged onto facebook. On the top of my screen, there was a box that said status updates…
so I wrote exactly what I was thinking…

“enuff with the BS, I’m looking for somebody that can develop into my wife…who is down?”

Now, my status was linked to my twitter as well (cheap advertising…follow me Well, it was what I was thinking at that exact moment…being that I just had an hour long conversation about it. Within minutes…I had comments.
..things like
”soliciting for a wife over the internet is so not a good look”“…throwing you cards on table…you will be FLOODED with challenges…”“u a fool”“u had wifey…and let her slip away”

The private messages I received were so crazy…cant share those. But I was like damn…maybe I shouldn’t have written that.

At the same time, I saw some status updates from people on my friends list and don’t think mine was out of the way or would make me look bad. Some of theirs said…

Written from a girl…”I like it rough”
Written from a guy…”girl u got me up so its your job to put me down”

Aaaayyyyyyyyooooo! Craziness!!!!

So my question to all of you is…What is ok and not ok to put on your status updates?

Somebody help Simply

Please watch your kids...

How hard is it for parents to watch their kids nowadays? Especially in crowded and busy environments. It is not only to keep kids out of trouble, it is also to protect them. It’s for their own good.

I was in Denny’s on Mother’s Day morning. It was packed. I mean like a million people…or 150 or As you can imagine, all the tables were full, the waiting area was full…even people outside. They must have had their whole staff working that day. So lets add, 20 workers to that number…120 people in a Denny’s restaurant.
Kids are running around like crazy. They just roaming through the restaurant, here and there, bothering people at their tables as they wanna crawl under them chasing their toys. Ridiculous. It was all fun and games right???
This kid comes out of bathroom…alone, was looking backwards as he walked forward…he must have seen something he didn’t like because…PPPPPPUUUUUUNNNNNNNNEEEE…he just bolted like 100mph through the restaurant….still looking backwards. So obviously, he didn’t see the waiter walking across from a table to the kitchen carrying a stack of about 5 plates…with forks, knives, syrup, etc… so, by the time the kid decided ‘hey, if I’m gonna run this fast, maybe I should look where I’m going’…the kid turned his head…and …

SMACK!!!!…ran his head straight into the stack of plates. Glass went flying into the air…as the kid went flying to the ground. With one smack with the noggin all the plates smashed into pieces. You know what follows…kid crying, head leaking blood all over Denny’s broken-glass-covered floor…parents going crazy….

and guess what???

They blamed it all on the waiter carrying the plates. Parents yelling he should have been watching the kid coming. That the kid is sick mentally and all this other stuff. Until one smart person said…“if the kid is so sick mentally, then maybe you should have put a little more energy into watching your kid, and took him to the bathroom yourself.”

A hush went through the restaurant…as the parents slowly walked their son out stopping the blood leaking with a stack of Denny’s napkins. What a shame?

Whose fault is it?

Speak to Simply…

Blog Beef???

Blog Beef???

So, responses to blogs can come in many ways. Some readers look at them subjectively…and some take them personal. Well, I received a personal email from somebody that was very disturbed by a blog I put up temporarily.

This is exactly what they wrote:
“U call yourself a grown man but put ur info on blast. All ur blogs. Blogs are supposed to b used 2 express thoughts about the world in one’s own perspective. It seems as tho U have missed it.”

What does Simply have to say???

Hahahaha…oops, sorry. I’m still laughing. I guess the reader is right. Many blogs do talk about the world. But…if you research it yourself a little more, actually blogging can also serve as one’s online diary, and include events in one’s life that they encounter. It could simply just serve as an outlet of feelings to give yourself a fresh breath of air. It just depends on the writer. With me, I mix my blogs up to include personal events and other subjects. And I am a mature grown man. Don’t confuse my blogs with my life in total. I write my thoughts from a specific moment in time. I will include enough information to spark a reaction from a reader…

So that raises these questions:

What purpose should a blog serve?

Also, is there a such thing as an anonymous confrontation? Is there any dignity in it?

Hmmmm…to any of those that think there is…Kill yourself!!!

World, I’m waiting on your response.


Are kids like dogs???

Kids on leashes…

So, while out here in Puerto Rico, there has been something that has been bothering me since I have been here. I have seen it happening in the mall, at the games, and sometimes just out in the middle of the town. What is going on? It may be happening all over the world, but I wouldn’t know because I’m here. So…

What is up with parents walking their little kids on leashes?

Now, at times they seem to want to dress the kids up. They will put a little teddy bear book bag on their back…or a little Barbie book bag. Make them look cute with matching outfits and all. Then you see the leash hanging from the back and in the palms of the parents hands. Everything be cool until the kid see something they like, as simple as a piece of candy or a little toy, and start with that little clumsy run. Then,

WHHOPPPP….they just yank they little asses. Snatch their damn feet right off the floor. Kids just lay on the dirty floor with the same expression a dog has right before it starts whining…those puppy eyes. Poor little kids.

Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of being a kid?…that curiosity, that wonderment of the world…wanting to learn more about the world…wanting to explore and find all the little things and experiences that all add together to form our personalities and characteristics of the adult we are today…

So somebody tell me…

Is it not enough to just discipline your kids when they do something that is so terrible and yet at the same time let them venture somewhat cautiously into the unknowns?

Are these cute, society and socially acceptable, leashes really necessary?